Yom Kippur Morning
Rabbi Cy Stanway
American society loves to assign names to significant and, oftentimes, not-so-significant events. Every month brings with it a whole set of “Whatever Appreciation of the Month.” There is everything from Cheese Appreciation Month to Hug Your Podiatrist Month. I am not sure who pays attention to all or any of these appreciation months but they must do something for someone since there are thousands of them every year.
Now, in addition to special months that we are supposed to observe with some level of sanctity toward cheese, podiatrists, or whatever, there are certain years that we are supposed to observe with an even higher level of sanctity. Because these are year-long observances, I take it to mean that they are somehow more important than a mere month-long observance.
So a few years ago the United Nations had the Year of the Child and before that the Year of the Woman, and so forth.
If I was to make up a new yearly commemoration, I think I would call it the ‘Year of Admitting Mistakes.’ The problem is that no one would observe it! I am not telling you something you don’t know because you know as well as I that Americans seem loathe to admitting they ever made a mistake. Even when the immorality of something is blatantly obvious or the cruelty laid bare for all to see, our propensity to repress our cognitive dissonance has gotten a huge workout this year.
Last year, we sat at Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and heard the blast of the shofar. As in no other year, we prayed for the peace of Jerusalem because, as an eternally hopeful people, we thought that even relative peace is a good thing. But October 7 changed all that, didn’t it? When Hamas invaded Israel and murdered 1200 Israelis, they awakened a reality that will take at least a generation to evolve. You see, the people Hamas murdered were probably the most active peace activists in Israel. They were the ones who really thought that Palestinians and Israelis could live in the same neighborhood without killing each another’s children and their parents. But that notion was shattered. And the war that ensued was, in so many respects, a war that was inevitable as Hamas would never change and the illusion that they would or could was shattered. The massacre of October 7 directly led to the war between Iran and Israel in the early summer. As Israel did in 1967 but which was even more dangerous this time, Israel did not wait for Iran to strike. It is yet another clear example of what Golda Meir said of the Munich Olympics massacre – “Jewish blood is no longer cheap.”
This year has truly been a year of violence towards Jews the world over. Instead of the shofar blast at the beginning of the year announcing the great and glorious day of Shalom, we heard the blast of gunfire, rockets, missiles, Iron Dome, fighter jets and violence, a continuing war in Gaza and a war with Iran.
So, if this is a moment of admitting mistakes, what admission ought we to make? We ought to admit that every notion that our values will somehow inspire Hamas and Iran and the Houtis in Yemen to realize how self-destructive they are being have failed. Our mistake and, frankly the mistake of the 1200 murdered Israelis, was that sometimes hope is wishful thinking and not a strategy for peace. Our hope was that when offered so much over the years, the Palestinians would take it. A few years ago, our hope was best summed up by the then President of the Reform Movement, Rabbi Eric Yoffie who said after the Second Intifada, “First and foremost we have been wrong about Palestinian intentions. We have believed, along with our allies in the peace camp that if an Israeli prime minister would be brave enough to say that Israel must choose peace over territories, the Palestinian Authority would also choose peace. It would do so resentfully, reluctantly and out of grudging self-interest rather than love, but nonetheless, it would choose peace…No offer was accepted. The voices of reason and moderation on which we counted did not appear. And the PLO showed itself, once again, to be one of the most stupid, murderous, and bloodthirsty liberation movements in all of human history.” And today, just a few days after the latest peace proposal for Gaza, Hamas is still silent and the so-called Pro-Palestinians have gone radio silent. It is almost as if they never really cared about the Palestinians but only about how bad to make Jews look.
The truth is, as I see it, that we Jews that based everything on hope for a change in Hamas and their supporters that they didn’t really mean what they said when they said ‘From the River to Sea.’ By the way, if you ask most college students which river and which sea, they haven’t got a clue and neither do they know that the original slogan in Arabic is a direct call it is a call for the extermination of the Jews. Period.
And if we respond to the ongoing war as a way to excuse Hamas, we end of conveniently forgetting that Hamas started this on October 7. Not to mention forgetting the hostages that have been held dead or alive. Too many people, from college students to protesters seem to have missed the truth that Palestinians are always excused from the normal standards of moral judgment. They ignore, for instance, that Palestinian children, although not born hating Jews, learn exactly that from a very early age. They learn it from their parents, from their schools, from their textbooks, and from their government. Jew hatred is not a bug in that society. It is a foundational feature. And so I ask all those who inclined to give Hamas the benefit of the doubt – why would you since the knife in their hand will be soon at your neck, as well.
I am not suggesting that even though this is a year of admitting mistakes we ought to lose hope. Not at all. In fact, we ought to take the words of the Talmud seriously: ‘Be of the disciples of Aaron pursuing peace.’
So how do we do this while not being naive and suicidal? How do we support the lives of both innocent Israelis and Palestinians without intentionally blinding ourselves to the reality that, according to recent polls, more that 70% of adults in Gaza truly do want to kill every one of us? I think this is why the Jewish world is so torn. We will no longer just sit around and wait for another October 7 but, at the same time, can not tolerate being attacked from inside hospitals and schools. Over the past two years, our Jewish trauma is deep and wide and I don’t think there can be any kind of peace or coexistence as long as Hamas or even the Palestinian Authority are in the picture. Israelis and Jews won’t ever negotiate with them again. So where is the hope?
As is often the case, the hope lies with the children so that, perhaps, in their generation, they will see the blessings of peace and be able to accomplish what past generations have only glimpsed. But, even there, we have a ways to go for even though in the secular and progressive Jewish schools in Israel the textbooks teach coexistence, the idea of living together in peace does not appear in the textbooks of the yeshivot where ultra Orthodox children learn. In their schools they are taught to hate Arabs based on, of all things, a midrash — a rabbinic story — that says that when God was offering the Torah to the world, he went to the Arabs and when they asked, “What is in it?” and God said, “Thou shalt not steal.” The Arabs refused it, the midrash tells us, because, they said, “That is what we do.” If all ancient Jewish text is holy, as is considered by these ultra Orthodox schools, then the midrash is true and Arabs are completely untrustworthy.
My friends, this is the battle we are fighting as Reform Jews. We have Palestinians on one hand who have no problem blowing themselves up in the Moment cafe that I had just been sitting in 5 minutes beforehand or a pizza place that is in a Jerusalem’s central square. And on the other hand, you have the haredim, the ultra-Orthodox and all the other extremists in Israel who would like nothing else to either kick the Arabs out or kill them all to settle the land regardless of human rights. That is our dilemma. What are we to do?
Well, as with most dilemmas there are some interesting opportunities. I believe that the most important thing is something we must not do. We must not give up. Though there is frustration, anger and a sense of betrayal, we must not give up on the principles of Reform Judaism for they are what made our movement the beacon of light that it is. These are the principles that living a life of Torah is not exclusive of living in the real world. That protecting the body is not antithetical to nurturing the soul. And that the rights we demand of ourselves ought to be the same rights we give to others. In other words, we are not allowed not to hope.
The people of Israel are also torn. They are also looking for hope and I firmly believe that Reform Judaism can offer that hope as no other movement can. And the Israelis are hungry for it. Never in Israel’s history have the people of Israel been so ready to embrace liberal Judaism and to break free of the tyranny of the religious extremism, coerciveness and corruption of Israel’s Chief Rabbinate. They want to build a Jewish society but not one that subjugates others whether they be Jews or Arabs or one that corrodes the soul.
In not one, but three different polls, when asked “With which stream of Judaism do you most identify?” a stunning 35% said Reform Judaism.
28% said Orthodox and 13% said Conservative. People in Israel are looking for something to nourish them and to give them strength. They are looking for something that sustains their souls while not neglecting the body. They are looking for a way to bring a meaningful peace to their land and meaning to their lives founded upon liberal principles of equality, democracy and Jewish values but not at the cost of self delusion and an intentional blindness to the realities of the situation on the ground. They are looking for what Reform Judaism offers and they know it. The problem is that Reform Jews have not spent as much time or money as they can supporting our values in that Land.
The question is why.
One reason is that after all that has happened since October 7 and two years of war following, we are seeing an Israel that we are unfamiliar with – one that will no longer wait to be attacked. The world may love dead Jews but living ones fighting for survival confuses and angers so many!
It is truer than ever to say that Israel no longer holds sway in our imagination as it once did. There are the older members of our congregations who remember the struggle for the establishment of the state and the war of Independence. Those were the heady days when the state was being built and we all had a part in building it. And then there were the days immediately following the 6 Day War in which not only Israel, but Jews everywhere would never again be seen as weak. But what about now?
Now Israel is a big girl and she can take care of herself. We in the Jewish world have looked at her as parents look upon their growing children. And we continue to do so. But as she continues to grow, our relationship, like the relationship with our children, also evolves. Not everything she does is perfect or even right. And being aware of that ought not to distance ourselves from her but rather deepen and evolve our relationship with her. Too many people today want to abandon Israel because she is not the child we once thought we had.
This evolving relationship is something we need to teach our children. We must teach the its importance and centrality to Jewish life. We must teach the good, the bad, and the ugly. And we must inspire them and imbue them with a love for a Land that they have a relationship to even though they may not yet be aware of it.
Let that be our beginning truth. The truth is that our children do not have enough exposure to Israel and whatever attention we give to Israel in the Religious School has been minimal, at best. We hope to change that this year at Shir Shalom, but the lingering question will be, Is there enough time? We want to imbue our children with the notion that Israel belongs to them, as well and that here successes and struggles and joys and traumas are theirs just for the taking.
The challenges are huge. When they hear messages about Israel, they are often messages from the media or social media. When I was going to Israel once, a friend of mine offered but one word of advice: “Duck.” It was gallows humor to be sure, but it reflected what too many people think Israel is like. We don’t need the Arabs invading Israel from all sides. CNN and NBC got everyone thinking that Israel is just one big shooting gallery.
We need to begin erasing that perception and we need to do it today.
This past summer, everything got cancelled from the URJ trips to Stella’s Talma experience to hundreds of tour groups that arrive each day. It makes sense, of course. But now it is safe and we ought to encourage trips to experience what Israel really is. And, if you are wondering whether I am walking the walk, I hope so, as my youngest daughter called us from the Tel Aviv airport at the beginning of July without us having more than an inkling that she was going. She landed and, somehow in a way only a 28 year can do, she got involved in an organization that helped vacate apartments in Tel Aviv that were damaged from Iranian rockets. It was her way of rebuilding the Land in the same spirit as the early halutzim – the early pioneers did in the 1920’s.
I firmly believe that we American Reform Jews ought to be on those trips. We ought to be taking our children and we ought to begin creating a connection there so that that land and our children have a relationship that runs deep. I have been advocating for 10 day post b’nai mitzvah trips for $5000 instead of $35,000 for a party soon forgotten. Going to Israel is cheaper, more meaningful, and you don’t have to worry about doing the dishes on Sunday morning!
Our children are idealists and want to build on their visions and ideals of equality and human rights. Reform Judaism can offer that to them and to the people of Israel. If they make a connection to Israel, then they will participate in the dream of building the kind of Jewish society that they want. They will be as much a part of the Land as any Israeli. Let’s feed their dreams and nurture them because they are the dreams of youth that can bloom as Israel bloomed in the desert.
But these dreams need the support from home. Our children need to be taught by example that Israel is a Jewish aspiration and that Reform Judaism can offer the spiritual element that will make the people of that land have a meaningful liberal foundation upon which to build the land of their dreams. Our children are not only our future, but Israel’s as well.
And on this holiest of days, we ought to ask ourselves whether that support has been forthcoming. Some of our answers may embarrass us.
The second reason that we American Reform Jews have not spent as much time, energy and money in Israel is that we think it won’t make a difference. We American Jews have said that Israel does not listen to us so why should we care. In fact, Israel listens more than you know. Several years ago, the latest bill putting all decisions of “Who is a Jew” into the hands of the Chief Rabbinate was introduced. If it became law, it would have nullified all non-Orthodox conversions in Israel. American Jewry went nuts! The bill was never passed despite the fact that they had the votes. This ought to prove to us that we can make a difference because we have made a difference. And each year more and more Israeli born rabbis are ordained by the Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem and are serving vibrant and visible congregations throughout Israel.
Each of us can make religious extremism in Israel a thing of the past and we can help to build liberal and democratic Jewish society there throwing off the oppression of a Chief Rabbinate which sees Reform and Conservative Judaism as nothing but a Gentile religious movements. Until we help to empower those 35% of Israelis who identify with the Reform Movement and offer to the rest of Israeli society a vision of plurality and democracy, our dignity will be in the hands of those who despise us.
My friends, Israel is at a crossroads with the Palestinians and with extremists of every kind and we are at our own crossroads with Israel.
Though we have been critical of what Israel has done in the past, and we ought to be, Israel is still deeply rooted in our souls. It is part of our Jewish expression and our religious identity. How can we not pay attention to it as we do with all other parts of our Jewish lives? I firmly believe that each one of us can once again fall in love with Israel but we have to be led by our heart and our soul, not by CNN, MSNBC and the New York Times.
We have to approach Israel as one approaches a friend or a lover. On one hand, when Israel needs to be criticized, echoing the words of the Psalmist, “For Zion’s sake I will not be silent.” At other times echoing another Psalmist, “If I ever forget you, 0 Jerusalem, let my right hand forget its cunning.”
But the one constant is that we must never, ever be apathetic with Israel. Israel is not just a country, it is a dream and, like all dreams, it can still have power over us. And Israel with an active Reform movement in it, supported financially by American Reform Jews will see our dreams and theirs come alive. To neglect Israel now is simply to neglect our own dreams. You would not do that with your career. The question is will you do it with your people?
Last year at this time, the blast that we heard was not from the shofar, but from the Middle East which once again embraced fanaticism and hate on both sides. Our task now is to have a part in returning Israel to Jewish dignity.
Our task is to do everything we can do to assure Israel’s security and, at the same time, to continue to search for and elusive peace so that our enemies, our brothers, may learn to live us as we learn to live with them.
Our task is to join together with Israelis to create a meaningful progressive Judaism based on the principles of love and acceptance, not oppression and exclusivity.
Our task is to embrace Israel and her people, to hold her near and, in doing so, to reconnect with a dream that we have neglected for too long.
Our dream is calling to us to fulfill what our faith demands from us.
Are we willing to answer?
Rabbotai, the opportunity to share the promise of Reform Judaism exists in Israel as never before. I pray as this new year starts that we can bring its message of common hope and faith to the places where there is war. I pray that this time next year we have seen the last of the hatred. I pray that our hearts are no longer hardened by cynicism and frustration. And I pray that each of truly live the prayers that we utter this day and direct those prayers not only to those we love in our own family and to our own people, but extend its message of healing and reconciliation to all people, especially those we call our enemy.
God has already given us the wisdom to choose that path. May God now give us the strength and the courage to walk it.
