CHAIYAE SARAH – Gainesville
When I was 11 years old, I distinctly remember going to my grandfather’s 70th birthday. This was in 1970. And, as is often the case, one moment has stayed with me throughout my life. That moment was when I saw my grandfather simply walking across the living room. I recall his totally white hair, slight stoop forward, and the beginnings of a foot shuffle that foreshadowed everything I thought old people were. I remember saying to myself, ‘I guess that that’s what getting old is.’ I can honestly say I believe I saw the future not just of me, but of every single family member in that room and it would happen 50 years from that moment to me. White hair, stoop and slow walking. I figured that that was what aging simply is.
Of course, I was wrong. Getting older is so much more different 50 years later than it was in the 1970’s. Aging no longer means getting old for everyone. We live in a time where, with a bit of luck, good genes, medical care, exercise, and all the things your doctor tells you to do helps us make longer and more productive lives.
The numbers tell the story: The 65-74-age category is eight times larger than it was in 1900; the number of 75-84 year olds is 17 times larger; and the 85-and-up population is nearly 40 times larger. Projections indicate that by the year 2030, a mere five years from now, there will be more than 70 million people over the age of 65, and the population aged 85 and over, the group most likely to need health- and long-term care services, also will increase dramatically.
If you transported a 70 year old from the ‘20’s or 30’s or 50’s to today and introduced them to today’s 70 year old, they would think we are in our 40s and 50s. Someone said that “today, lives no longer conform to past expectations and patterns. Marriage, schooling, career, child bearing, and child rearing are more fluid than ever before. Many do not look or act their chronological age, making necessary new benchmarks for the retired set, a mixture of young-old, old-old, sick-old, well-old, well-off-old, and so forth.”
And that brings us to today’s Torah portion. It is called Chayei Sarah – the life of Sarah, but describes her death and burial. It is a bizarre juxtaposition, titling the portion Sarah’s Life but telling us about her death and burial. As usual, the Torah is telling us something without telling us something.
Keep in mind that when the Torah was written, 1250 BCE, people didn’t grow old very often. Death came at 30 or 50 if you were incredibily lucky. So why does the text tell Sarah and Abraham’s age when it speaks about Sarah’s death under a title called the Life of Sarah? I think it is because the Torah is telling us that both Sarah and Abraham accomplished their most significant achievements in the latter part of their lives, well past the age that would be considered feasible today. Remember, Abraham set out on his fateful journey at God’s command from Haran (in northwest Mesopotamia — modern-day Iraq) to “the land that I will show you” at age 75. When he reached age 90, God told him that he will have children as numerous as the stars in the sky. At 99, he was commanded to circumcise himself and seal the covenant with God. Not an unproductive retirement! And Sarah was even more impressive. At 90, she would give birth to Isaac and for the rest of her life be a partner with Abraham building up a people that would change the course of world history. Let’s face it, Abraham and Sarah were a shoo-in for this month’s AARP magazine cover!
The Torah is certainly teaching us what we already know, especially in this century: that age really is just a number. Obviously we need to recognize that genes, nutrition, proper care, exercise, and just plain luck cannot be disregarded. Nevertheless, an individual’s attitude toward aging is important. Abraham and Sarah could never have done what they did if they did were content to sit in their rocking chairs by the door of their tent!
I recall visiting a woman in an assisted living center many years ago sometime around her birthday and I said to her, ‘may you live to 120!’ – a traditional Jewish blessing. Her response was immediate: ‘God forbid!’ She had no life left in her. Over the years, I have certainly come to understand where she was coming from.
And then, conversely, a colleague of mine tells the story of when he went to visit a woman who was celebrating her 99th birthday. As he left he said, “I hope I will be able to come back next year to celebrate your 100th birthday with you.” “Why shouldn’t you?” she asked. “You look perfectly healthy to me.”
Not everyone has this attitude. And passing judgement on those who do or don’t is the wrong thing to do. We will never know the pain of someone’s ageing or perhaps its loneliness that would make someone say, “God forbid I should live to 120.” Nor will we ever really understand the wells of enthusiasm that water the soul and keep a 99 year old dancing through life like Sarah and Abraham. Maybe it boils down to what Satchel Paige once said, “Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.”
Not everyone can face ageing like Abraham and Sarah. And the blessing of seeing our next generations in grandchildren and great grandchildren, watching our families grow and flourish, is a true blessing that we may or may not get to experience. But Abraham and Sarah’s lesson is that serving God and humanity, teaching and learning, creating and molding a better world need not stop at retirement.
בֶּן שְׁמֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה לַחֻפָּה, בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים לִרְדֹּף, בֶּן שְׁלשִׁים לַכֹּחַ, בֶּן אַרְבָּעִים לַבִּינָה, בֶּן חֲמִשִּׁים לָעֵצָה, בֶּן שִׁשִּׁים לַזִּקְנָה, בֶּן שִׁבְעִים לַשֵּׂיבָה, בֶּן שְׁמֹנִים לַגְּבוּרָה, בֶּן תִּשְׁעִים לָשׁוּחַ
At eighteen the bridal canopy; At twenty for pursuit of livelihood; At thirty the peak of strength; At forty wisdom; At fifty able to give counsel; At sixty old age; At seventy fullness of years; At eighty the age of “strength.”
Our tradition loves the older population. They are never a burden. They are a treasure and wells filled with wisdom who are waiting to be tapped. When the Psalm tell us, “Teach us to count our days rightly, that we may obtain a wise heart” perhaps it is really saying, “Teach us to use our time wisely so that those who can teach us can give us the benefit of their wisdom.”
Each of us has inherited the wisdom from those who didn’t simply fade into obscurity as they got older. Their learning never stopped. Their teaching never stopped. Regardless of their age, they continued the journey begun by Abraham and Sarah and imparted what they could to us. And in their journey, is also their blessing to each of us – a blessing that we truly wish for.
And the blessing is this:
God willing, each of us has the strength to carry that wisdom forward.
God willing, we all have the health to learn and to teach, to create and to contribute what is in our souls.
And God willing we become true inheritors of Abraham and Sarah and that we have the passion of service to the Jewish people that spills over into the next generation.
And, God willing, a life defined not by age but by living with joy and vision – a life inspired by Abraham and Sarah and given as a gift to each of us. May we all receive such blessings.
Shabbat Shalom
