Vayigash
Stella and I have an ongoing argument. She is very much into reality TV dramas, mostly for background noise. Still, at any given time, the Housewives of LA, My 1000 Pound Life, Dance Moms, some Kardashian thing or another, or a dozen more are permeating the house. So what is the argument? Simple; most of these reality TV shows are scripted. There is almost nothing real about them. The funny thing is that everyone knows they’re scripted but we play along, suspend our disbelief, and pretend that people really do throw champagne bottles at each other at Maxine’s!
So, if it’s all scripted and mostly fake, why watch it? Why willingly suspend our disbelief and pretend this is what people are really like? Well, it’s probably the same dynamic as rubbernecking at an accident. The underlying commentary is usually, ‘That God that’s not me.’ People, by and large, love to watch a train wreck and then are happy that their lives are nothing like that. We love the drama. That is why this week’s Torah portion can never make it as a reality TV show. It’s simply too anti-climactic.
Remember the story: Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers because he was, frankly, obnoxious! As a dream interpreter he found his way to Pharaoh and, over time, became Pharaoh’s vizier – a fancy name for Prime Minister. His brothers think he’s long gone. His father thinks he’s dead. And then, a famine in the land of Canaan that takes the brothers to Egypt begging for food. This is the moment of drama. His brothers appear before him and he recognizes them but they have no idea who he is.
Here is where the moment of retribution comes is: What will Joseph do? He can reveal himself and pull a Game of Thrones moment of retribution punishing his brothers for their crimes and their malice. And yet, Joseph does none of that. At the moment of revelation he says, “I am Joseph your brother. Is our father still alive?” The drama is beyond anything reality TV can offer because the real drama is what Joseph reveals about what can be and not what we expect. His drama is forgiveness. Those looking for retribution and for the champagne to fly across the room get none of that. They get kindness.
As someone commented, what Joseph models is the refusal to allow those evildoers any power over his life. Instead of permitting anger to destroy him, thus compounding the damage already done to him, he refuses to allow anger to take over his life and define his actions. He does not lose control of his emotions, but more importantly, he retains control over his life. Anger and fear do not direct his actions. He is able to choose how to respond to his brothers. He puts anger behind him and offers them new life.
Every day we witness a standard of behaviour so low, that it boggles the mind. Reality TV didn’t create it; it is reflecting our desire to gawk at watch others squirm. In fact, Joseph stands in quiet contrast to the current low standard of behavior so often on display.
Just when we reach a climactic moment in the Genesis story, after Joseph’s meeting with betrayal, slavery, and imprisonment, followed by his dream interpretation and rise to power, finally the drama comes to a climax. Joseph, second in command to the Pharaoh and distributor of food in a starving Egypt, faces his treacherous brothers and has both the opportunity and the power to have them punished or even killed. And yet, he creates a space of peace. No conflict. No violence. A one who truly oseh shalom – makes peace.
After Bondi beach, I was struck by what I didn’t hear. I didn’t hear Jews in Australia demanding the death of Moslems. I didn’t see marches of Jews holding signs calling for an intifada against the Islamic world. No. What we all saw was mourning and burying the dead and then the best revenge on those who kill and delight in malice: a continued, full-throated celebration of the remaining days of Hannukah. And then I saw something else: non-Jews coming out of the shadows and standing with Jews publicly and loudly. I am sure that the menorah sales this year exceeded just about any other year simply because so many non-Jews want to show their solidarity with us. That’s not cultural appropriation. That’s cultural appreciation – we choose life over death. Justice over retribution. A choice that is difficult to make but makes life worth living.
Joseph teaches us a lesson: the road to peace is paved with the possibility of joy. As long as we can keep our minds open to that joy, our possibilities of peace and reconciliation become real. It makes for lousy reality TV but it makes for a life so much more worth living.
