WHEN I HEARD THAT BOZ DIED, I FELT A PROFOUND SADNESS FOR HER CHILDREN, STEVE, JOEL AND ADDIE AND ALL HER GRANDCHILDREN AND IN-LAWS. WITH HER DEATH COMES THE END OF AN ERA IN THE SWARTZ FAMILY. AND WHAT AN ERA IT WAS.
BOZ WAS THE MATRIARCH OF THIS FAMILY. TOGETHER WITH HARRY OF BLESSED MEMORY THEY SHARED THE JOYS AND CHALLENGES OF A LONG LIFE TOGETHER, OF RAISING A FAMILY OF SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN, OF WATCHING HER FAMILY FLOURISH AND BECOME THEIR OWN PEOPLE. SHE WAS ONE WHO WATCHED OVER EVERYONE AT THE DINNER TABLE AND, IN PREVIOUS YEARS, THE BEACH. THERE WAS ALMOST NEVER AN EVENT IN THE FAMILY THAT DIDN’T INCLUDE BOZ.
AND WHEN SHE DIED, PERSONALLY SPEAKING, I WAS SADDENED BECAUSE I LOST ONE OF MY BIGGEST FANS! ALTHOUGH I NEVER ACTUALLY SERVED AS HER RABBI, SHE WAS ALWAYS COMPLIMENTING ME ON SOMETHING: MY SERVICES, MY SERMONS, BUT ESPECIALLY MY FAMILY! WITH HER DIMINUTIVE STATURE AND UNIQUE VOICE, SHE WAS A POWERHOUSE OF INTELLIGENCE AND SENSITIVITY. IN THE DOZENS OF TIMES I HAVE SEEN HER OVER THE PAST DECADES, THERE WAS ALWAYS BOZ TO BE A PART OF STELLA’S AND MY LIFE.
I DON’T REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I MET HER. BUT BEFORE I ACTUALLY MET HER, I KNEW THAT SHE MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEONE SPECIAL. A LARGE PHOTOGRAPH OF HER WAS IN STEVE’S OFFICE – FRAMED AND IN A CONSPICUOUS PLACE. EVERYTIME ANYONE WOULD SPEAK TO THE FRONT DESK OR ASK STEVE OR HARRY A QUESTION, THERE WAS BOZ LOOKING OUT OVER THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED HER AND WHOM SHE LOVED. I ALSO TOOK IT AS A WARNING TO ANYONE WHO GOT MAD AT THE FRONT STAFF! IT WAS ALMOST AS IF SHE WAS SAYING, ‘DON’T MESS WITH THE PEOPLE I LOVE OR YOU’LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME!’ BUT THE TRUTH IS, I FIGURED THAT ANYONE’S PICTURE THAT HANGS IN A DOCTOR’S OFFICE HAS TO BE PRETTY SPECIAL.
BUT THE FIRST TIME I ACTUALLY MET HER MUST HAVE BEEN ABOUT 25 YEARS AGO. WAS IT AT THE MANY NEW YEAR’S PARTIES, THANKSGIVING GET TOGETHERS, CELEBRATIONS OF ONE KIND OR ANOTHER? I DON’T REMEMBER. BUT I DO REMEMBER HER CONSTANT PRESENCE AND GRACE AND GENTLENESS.
I ALWAYS HAD A QUESTION, THOUGH. YOU SEE, I NEVER DID FIGURE OUT EITHER WHY SHE LIKED TO BE CALLED BOZ OR GIGI! AND I NEVER HAD THE CHUTZPAH TO ASK HER ALTHOUGH I AM SURE SHE WOULD HAVE LOVED TO TELL ME THE STORY! WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT THESE NICKNAMES WERE NAMES OF ENDEARMENT AND LOVE. AND, INDEED, HOW MUCH SHE WAS LOVED. SHE WAS LOVED BY HER FAMILY, HER FRIENDS, AND HER COLLEAGUES FROM THE LIBRARIES SHE WORKED AT. IF THERE WAS ANYONE WHO HAD WHAT OUR RABBIS CALL A SHEM TOV – A GOOD NAME, IT WAS BOZ.
AND I WANT TO SHARE A THOUGHT WITH ALL OF YOU: AS YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS IS ‘HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.’ THESE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, AND ESPECIALLY THESE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS WERE SO HARD ON ALL OF YOU. AND YET, YOU ALWAYS TOOK CARE OF BOZ, VISITED HER, AND BROUGHT HER INTO A FAMILIAR AND COMFORTABLE HOUSE TO LIVE OUT THE VERY LAST DAYS OF HER LIFE SURROUNDED BY HER FAMILY AND THOSE TO WHOM SHE INSPIRED AND LOVED. YOUR PRESENCE GAVE HER A LOVING FAREWELL AND YOUR FINAL EMBRACES WERE HER GIFT AS SHE WENT FROM THIS LIFE TO ETERNAL LIFE.
AS JEWS WE SAY ZIKHRONA LIVRAKHA — MAY HER MEMORY BE A BLESSING. BUT FOR BOZ, I THINK WE CAN SAY SOMETHING MORE: HER MEMORY DOESN’T JUST BLESS US, IT INSTRUCTS US. SHE SHOWED US HOW TO BE PRESENT FOR THE PEOPLE WE LOVE. HOW TO MAKE EVERYONE AT THE TABLE FEEL SEEN. HOW TO CARRY A NAME — A SHEM TOV — SO WELL THAT EVEN A PHOTOGRAPH IN A DOORWAY TELLS STRANGERS THAT SOMEONE REMARKABLE WAS HERE.
SO, FOR ONE LAST TIME, I SAY THIS: BOZ, YOU WERE REMARKABLE.
STEVE, JOEL, ADDIE — AND ALL THE GRANDCHILDREN SHE ADORED — SHE IS NOT GONE FROM YOU. SHE LIVES IN EVERY TABLE YOU GATHER AROUND, EVERY MOMENT YOU CHOOSE PRESENCE OVER ABSENCE, EVERY TIME YOU MAKE SOMEONE FEEL THE WAY SHE MADE ALL OF US FEEL: WELCOMED, APPRECIATED, AND LOVED.
MAY HER SOUL BE BOUND UP IN THE BOND OF ETERNAL LIFE. AND MAY ALL OF YOU BE COMFORTED AMONG THE MOURNERS OF ZION AND JERUSALEM.
