A BOGO with the Stanways
By Ronnie Lovler

It was beshert, or quite simply, meant to be.  Rabbi Cy Stanway was looking for a synagogue where he could serve as an interim rabbi in the spring of 2025.  
That was exactly when congregants at Temple Shir Shalom were seeking an interim rabbi after the synagogue’s first full-time religious leader, Rabbi Michael Joseph, retired after 21 years.
...
Serendipitously, up in New Jersey, Rabbi Cy, as he prefers to be called, was looking for what to do next after a nearly three-decade stint at Temple Beth Miriam in Elberon, New Jersey. He didn’t want another long-term commitment, but he wasn’t quite ready to step away from the bimah....

...Stanway had led religious services in Gainesville previously, before he ever set foot in Shir Shalom.  “When I came back from Israel as a second-year student,… I served as a student rabbi at the University of Florida 40 years ago for the high holidays. So, this was, in a sense, like coming home”, Stanway said....
Rabbi Stanway was intrigued by his conversation with Board President Yale Freeman and others on the search committee when he interviewed here.  “They didn’t want a transition rabbi. They wanted a transformational rabbi. And when I heard that, I thought, this is my bread and butter.  This is right up my alley,” he said.
Then, as one thing led to another, Yale asked Rabbi Cy if he could play a guitar. We all know the answer to that, especially if you have attended  Shabbat services this year. Can he sing? Again, you know the answer.

When he attended a children’s religious school service and learned about some of the problems there, he smiled. Why? Because he had a secret sauce — his wife Stella, who had been the religious school director in their previous congregation,
“I was thinking, boy, have a got a deal for you. A real bargain,” he said. 
So, Stella became part of the package, sweetening the deal by signing on as interim religious school director. Let’s just call it a two-for-one with an interim rabbi and an interim religious school director wrapped up in one family package.
In other words, Shir Shalom got a BOGO with the Stanways.
Now their year here is drawing to a close, and for them and for us, their departure is bittersweet....

Rabbi Cy…

Dear Rabbi Cy

It was difficult for Jeff and I to first choose a synagogue. We are both private people who shy away from joining organizations, but it was important to us to educate our children and raise them to understand Judaism. I was brought up conservative where both Rabbi and Cantor wore imposing liturgical robes, female cantors were considered scandalous and Hebrew prayers were memorized, their meanings never taught.

When I trepidatiously walked into TBM, you greeted me, In sneakers! I’ll always remember that.

You toured me around the entire building right then and there, I didn’t even have an appointment. Afterward I called Jeff and told him I just found a home for our family.We watched the children learn and grow during their time at TBM. And Jeff and I learned. What other spiritual leader shaves his head to raise money for cancer? Flies to the Ukraine in their time of need?  Whose family takes in refugees?  

I wanted you to know the impact you have left on our family, Bobby in particular. We believe you (and Stella) were the reason Bobby joined Hillel at Rulgers (took his friends - and Indian girlfriend to Shabbat dinners), studied Arab/Israeli Relations and made Birthright with friends from Hebrew school class. 

I mentioned to you previously, because of the donor program you set up at the Temple, Bobby became part of the registry and actually matched, helping a 70 year man with Leukemia.

... I’m wishing you and Stella joy, health and ease as you settle into your new community.

Alissa Reisler

I also wanted to write you a reflection of all my time (practically my whole life hehe)...Knowing you since I was a kid, you have held this image of the “fun Rabbi,” someone who really gets one involved in the temple community, encouraging them to try new things and make new connections. I would always (and still do) marvel at your presence, a combination of “go-with-the flow” humor, encapsulated in years of wisdom. I admire these traits, among many others: your drive to motivate people, your guitar playing skills, your goofy “win a trip to Belmar” jokes, your dedication to teaching– simply the impact you have made on hundreds of lives.

This email cannot even reach the level of gratitude I feel for having met someone so one-of-a-kind, who I have laughed with and learned many things from. Condensing the almost 20 years (oh wow) that I have known you into a run-on sentence, I recall the time you and Stella selflessly let my mom and I stay at your home during Hurricane Sandy, all the times you would pop into one of my Hebrew classes just to see how we were doing, my bat-mitzvah, the time you let me interview you for a middle school project about who my hero was, all of our enriching Teen Academy sessions, and most recently, when the two of us led a Shabbat service together over my winter break, during January.

To add on to this last point, when I walked into the sanctuary and you immediately called me up to say the Kiddush, I was like “okay, sure,” but I was caught by surprise when I ended up standing and singing alongside you for the rest of the service. Though I was initially reluctant to stay on the bima because I doubted my stage presence and wanted to simply blend in with the audience, you made it such a beyond fun experience, that made me feel like I was truly capable of doing anything– one of my all-time favorite memories.

All these highlights in my life prove why beyond a Rabbi, you are such an incredible human being. Besides your own family, you have also raised the community like an extension of it, watching so many of us grow up and become young adults, pursue college degrees, get married, have kids, and turn into dust. You have played a huge part in every one of life’s stages, and continue through the values you have ingrained in our hearts, souls, and strength, which we pass down to each generation. Your רוח, compassion towards others and passion to contribute to the Jewish community on both a local and international scale is extremely commendable. When I recall my times at Temple Beth Miriam, I will always be sure to remember and cherish your impact on my life. Again, thank you for everything. ~

Lia Bram

Dear Cy,

You brought  so much joy and community to our congregation.  Focusing on music and involving so many of us has made Friday night services a joy to attend.

For me personally, your special Minyan for Elise, encouraging my pre-service music, and taking time to talk to me, one-on-one, have helped me feel connected and cared about.

I hope you will find similar opportunities, at your new interim congregation, to share your warmth, enthusiasm and passion, and love so people feel involved, connected, and embraced, as I have.

Cy, thank you so much for making this year so special: both for Shir Shalom and me!

Steve Atlas

Rabbi and Stella,

The High Holidays were truly amazing. Other than soap missing from the bathroom, I heard no complaints. Everyone was in a state of euphoria. That is because of the two of you. I think you came to our temple not recognizing how important you might become. New leaders helping a small Jewish congregation in Gainesville, Florida not only survive but to help move the transformation. Although I was recently chastised (in a very nice way) for using the term, transformation, I believe that is what’s occurring. I also recognize that I need to believe that for me to continue my efforts on behalf of our temple. The two of you help me remember what we’re doing, and the two of you act as strong leaders in that regard.

On a personal basis, this was probably the most rewarding High Holiday service in which I have participated. It just felt right! I reflect on all the days leading up to the services and all of the services. Yes, there were a few flaws here and there, but we were all in celebration of our congregation, for what we stand for and what we want to become.

Thanks again.

Yale
Temple Shir Shalom President 

Rabbi, My name is Jacquelyn Watson (Jackie) and I have attended Shir Shalom Temple in Gainesville for several years, occasionally in person before the pandemic and regularly online since then.

I never became a member but give small donations on a regular basis. I live in Live Oak, FL (about 60+ miles north of Gainesville) and try to drive there as little as possible and not at all after dark anymore (I’m old).

I just want to tell you how much I enjoyed the three services this week. They were great! Your sermons, the music and the sound (over Zoom) were perfect. Thank you so much!

Also, thank you for being so friendly and down to earth (funny, too) and having the members participate in the service. Same goes for Friday night/ Saturday morning services, too! I am very much looking forward to Yom Kippur services (and thank you, again).

Sincerely, Jackie Watson